O'Neills

Well, it's already August, that means my three besties will be visiting me at the end of this month! I'm totes excited. We are in the planning stages and I just can't wait. I will blog a ton about those days they are here. Probably after they are gone, but don't worry all 3 of you reading this blog (the hookers who are visiting me on this trip) will be well informed of what we did for 10 days! But now, to this past weekend. 

Man was it crazy. Friday night was the first night on my own, aka I got wasted. Alone. I'm cool with that, it's what I do when I'm bored and alone. You may think it's sad, but I just think it's great entertainment. I had a great night. I made a delicious dinner, drank my body's weight in Strongbow, smoked 2 packs, fine, 3 packs of Marlboro's and passed out at 2am. It was almost, ALMOST like I went out to bars with friends, almost. I slept until 2pm (14:00 on a 24 hour clock) on Saturday. I was supposed to meet up with my friend E to go to a triathlon...whatever that is. But, I passed on that train wreck and meet up with them laters at a pub. And OMG were there some beautiful British men there watching a football match. I almost went up to a group of them and declared my love for them, but I resisted and stayed with my friends, drinking Strong-b's.

Our next stop was a restaurant off of the Angel tube stop on the Northern line (no one cares, I'm just trying to show off my awesome knowledge of the London underground) the restaurant was called Cuba Libre, just like a Cuban restaurant in Dallas. Good food, but on to the better stuff. Next, we went to O'Neills in Soho. It's a huge pub, but it's filled with tourists and has a cover, which I usually have a very strict policy about, but I'm with new friends, I can't be picky like I normally would with real friends. So I paid 8 pounds to get into this pub, but it was worth it! Had a few more Strong-b's.....at this point I was double fisting, and this is when, what I like to call a "bar miracle" happened. 

This phrase was coined back in high school when we went to bars in LA, but in O'Neills, I had my 2 pints, which are difficult to hold while pushing through a group of foreigners, but if I screamed "pardon me" people would see my 2 pints, realize the magic of double fisting and the seas would part like I was freakin' Moses. It was awesome! One thing I can say for London, is that people respect their pints, especially when a lady (term used loosely) is handling 2! It was complete magic. After a few more double fisting rounds at the bar, it was time to smoke. 

I'd been good and holding out since I had to walk up 3 flights of stairs to get to the damn smoking patio, I mean are we in Europe, fuck! I feel like I'm in shitting Oregon! But, I headed upstairs to the patio, at this point I found this gorgeous British man. I was ready to ask him to marry me when HE followed ME, not the reverse, back down the 3 flights of the pub trying to chat with me. I was in love. I would say I have some standards, kind of, but the British men work their spells on me so well they could be Quasimodo and I wouldn't care, but my group was leaving. We actually came back and this large Russian, maybe Polish man, forced me to dance with him, I couldn't help myself and I made out with him. I could barely understand what he was saying to me, but the language of love transcends all countries, languages and dialects, just like math, it's the universal language. Well, Gabor, that's his name, who I couldn't understand, not even his name until he typed it into my mobile. Yep, I'm using the word mobile because I've been in London for 2 weeks and it's time to admit it, I'm English, so I might as well use my county's language. Oh and also, I got the Russian/Polack's number. Woohoo! Score for me. Not really.

As I was talking with a foreigner (American) remember, I'm British now! He was telling me how weak their cocktails were here and I remembered my greatest invention in England: the quad-vod. Let me explain myself, British single shots are the same amount as American 1/2 shots. So to get a double vodka soda in England is like getting a regular vodka soda in America. Being the college girl in Oxford, trying to get drunk as quickly as possible, I came up with the greatest invention in England, quadruple shots of vodka in a cocktail...aka double vodka cocktail...aka Quad Vod. They never really understand this whenever I ordered it, so the quad vod quickly became the double vodka soda with a double shot on the side. Once they gave me the drink and the shot, I promptly poured the shot into the cocktail and gave the bartender a disgusted look and as loudly as possible said, "Now this is how you make a drink bitches!" and walked away to the dance floor. Someone's got to show these hookers who's boss! Damn, I'm just trying to watch out for all y'all American whores who wanna get drunk here...soo...you're welcome! Shalom and goodnight.