Sexy Music

Oi, oi, oi bruvs! That's cockney, duh! I had an AWESOME day in London. I'm not lonely anymore, I'm honestly just thinking about how I can stay here longer (preferably not living under my parents roof) but whateves. I'm planning a 10 day trip with my 3 besties, I'm out and about with family friends and I went to the pub today and chugged 2 pints of Strong-b in a matter of minutes...my day is going great bitches! But I would like to go back to an earlier day in age, sometime around last Friday....when I went to go see "Coco Avant Chanel". That's French for "Coco Before Chanel". I've learned French while living in Europe. I'm so fucking cosmopolitan it's crazy! So I went in the afternoon, because that's when all the other losers who see movies by themselves go, but usually I'm surrounding by some couples, random peeps and the occasional single person (thank G), who I love because then I'm not the only single person in the movie theatre, not that it really matters because it's dark and I'll never see these loser again. So while I was waiting for Coco Avant Chanel to start, I realized I was in a theatre FILLED with old ladies. I mean old ladies, like on their death bed ladies. The best part was, the song that was playing when I walked in was "I'll Make Love to You" by Boys II Men...ahahaha. That's enough to make my day and keep me laughing for a while, but the next song that came on was, and remember this is for an "old ladies" movie, the song that came on, just to get us in the mood for the movie was 50 cent "Candy Shop".....so you can just imagine how awesome that was! I just imagined myself watching sex scenes with my g-ma....it was AWKWARD. Then the movie started, then things were cool.

Then today I went to Kensington to meet up with a family friend, who has become a serious friend, who just happens to be older. No, this is not a sexual love affair with an older lady, God, I wish, but this is a 50-something lady who is friends with me mum, but also someone who has become a great friend. We went to Whole Foods. Yes, I've vowed not to go to US chains while I'm here, but I'm meeting up with a friend, what can I say? FUCK NO, I don't want to go to Whole Foods?! I mean, this sweet lady has been paying for my lunches, so I go to freakin' Whole Foods. I mean, I've always liked Whole Foods, Central Market, any organic food market, but this was sick. So cool. The food court was amazing. As a serious/official connoisseur of food, I can tell you that this place rocked! They had separate stations for sandwiches, salads, pizza, sushi, fucking burritos, soups and for perfect gentleman. Oh wait, after burritos in London, they might as well fucking had a station for fucking perfect males.....I mean shit. I'm in love with Whole Foods, like I never was before. I've never even heard of Central Market after this shit, even though it's a proud family owned, Texas grocery store, but this shit is just not seen in this capacity in America. After my food orgasm at WF, I went about to look at the grocery section of the 3 level store. Sadly, no, they did not have my fav sonoma chicken salad, as they do in America, they had some shit brown salad that looked like turds, but it was great none the less. Sex on the salad bar....good stuff......

Ok, well after that I went to Topshop and such, but do we really need to talk about Topshop after food orgasms? Well, actually, I do bitches! Topshop was heaven. Absolute heaven. Gorgeous clothes, fabulous shoes and even more sweeter, awesomer shoes. If you haven't noticed, the shoes were AWESOME! I'm going to marry the "shoe studio" in Topshop. Too many gorgeous shoes to talk about.....I even went to TK Maxx: uhhh... gross, but I found some good shit.....surprisingly....didn't buy anything thing, but I will honestly think about going back....maybe.....ok never....no ways in God's green (for the moment, soon to be black & dead) earth! But Topshop saved my life, as well as another H&M...I think this was #78 of the H&M's in London, but they still all hold a very special place in my heart. After the eating, orgasming, clothing & shoe shopping, I decided it was very well time to get back to my neck of the woods, Hampstead, and get thyself to a library. I've read 3 books in 5 days, so I needed to refuel. After a delay in the Circle line and missing the tube on the Northern line (again, I'm just trying to show how cool I am) I decided after I got my book, it was well good time to grab a pint. I can only get a pint by myself with a book or a newspaper, since I went to the lib, I was good to go for the pint(s). I went to my standby pub King William IV, right off of the Highstreet. I grabbed a Strong-b...wow, what a surprise. I forgot to tip the cute pub boy so downed my first pint and went to grab another. I think he was seriously impressed when I got another and tipped him heavily, hoping for sexual favors laters.......none of this matters because I came home, buzzed, with no love, no pub boy and just a hunger for pretzels. That was my day. It was good, but as usual, it ended in buzzed/drunkeness/sexual longing and food....such is life.....